Kristina Furey

Entry IV of The List


JENNY:  This is beautiful!  (Jenny looks down at her clothes.) I’m not worthy.

BRANDON:  Well, I’m sure you’d like to get cleaned up.   I asked the Concierge to send for the valet.  So, if you want to shower you can just hand your clothes out to me and I’ll give them to the valet before I head out.  Um or if you prefer, there’s a robe in the bathroom, you could change into it and wait for the valet and I could head out now. 

JENNY:  Oh no, I’d rather not put the robe on until I’m clean.


JENNY:  I’ll go get showered.  (Jenny walks into the bathroom.)


Jenny shuts the door, pulls out her eulogy, and the list from her pocket, putting them on the counter. 



The bathroom door opens slowly, just a crack and Jenny drops her clothes on the floor.

Brandon searches through the inside of the clothes for the size and then puts the clothes by the front door and sits down. 


Jenny’s voice is heard coming from the bathroom.  She is singing, “LIFE IS A JOKE,” by Kristina Furey

JENNY:  Life is a joke and I’m waiting for the punch line.  It’s like a slap in the face or a kick to the groin every time.  I’m down on my luck, baby can’t you see, every time that I get up I get the carpet pulled from under me.

Brandon walks over and stands outside the bathroom door listening. 

JENNY:  Life is a joke and I’m waiting the punch line, the punch line, the Oh!  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Brandon jumps when there’s a knock at the door.  He runs over to the door, picks up the clothes and walks out.

JENNY:  I lost my job.  I wish I’d quit.  It wasn’t right for me.  Now my boyfriend wants his freedom so he’s breaking up with me.  In the bars these days, you pay to play but I’ve got no money.  And now that guy over there just said that I can’t sing!

Song ends.


Jenny walks out of the bathroom with a robe on.  She’s humming.


Jenny runs back into the bathroom and comes back out with the list.  She looks it over.

There’s a knock at the door.  She hides the list under her pillow.

She opens the door to room service and Brandon.  Brandon is holding shopping bags.

BRANDON:  I, um, well we… just happened to get to your door at the same time.

The room service guy is assembling as Brandon speaks.

JENNY:  Oh?  I?  I didn’t order room service.

BRANDON:  I did.  I just hoped to get back before…  Oh never mind, here. 

He hands her the bags.

JENNY:  (She starts to look inside cautiously.)  So what’s in here? 

BRANDON:  Well, I wasn’t sure when your clothes (to the room service person)  Oh, here you go.

Brandon tips the room service person.

As the room service person leaves, someone takes a picture through the open door.

Jenny jumps to attention and pulls at her robe as if to somehow cover herself more.

ROOM SERVICE PERSON:  I’m sorry!  (Leaves and closes the door.)

BRANDON:  You’d think I’d be used to that by now.

JENNY:  Gosh!  That was pretty blatant.

BRANDON:  So what do you think?

JENNY:  Odd!  (She looks at the closed door.)

BRANDON:  About the clothes.


BRANDON:  I sneaked a peek at your size.  I think they’ll fit.  I wasn’t sure when they’d return your clothes.  Also, I took the liberty of getting you something to sleep in and a few other things I thought you might need.

JENNY:  (Going through the bag.)  You have good taste!  Let me go put this on, you know, in case there’s another photographer waiting to jump out of a corner.  (Jenny runs into the bathroom and calls out)  So what did you order?

BRANDON:  Oh just a few things.  I wasn’t sure what you’d like.

JENNY:  (She calls out from the bathroom.)  This is a perfect fit!  Wow I don’t think I’ve ever looked so good.  (She comes out of the bathroom.)  So, what do you think?  (She turns around)  Wow!  (She sniffs the sleeve.)  It even smells good.  Smell this!

Jenny holds her sleeve up to his face.

Brandon cautiously smells it and shakes his head, yes.

JENNY:  So what’s for dinner?

BRANDON:  Well, I wasn’t sure of what you’d like, so there’s steak, chicken and fish.

JENNY:  Oh, I eat anything.  What’s your favorite?

BRANDON:  I wasn’t planning on staying.

JENNY:  Did you eat?  Come on I can’t possibly eat all this myself and look, this is as good as I’ve ever looked, or smelled, for that matter.  (She smells her sleeve again.)  You’ll break my heart if you make me eat alone.

BRANDON:  Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to be the cause of that.

Brandon pauses and watches as Jenny sniffs the other sleeve.

Jenny notices she’s being watched and abruptly stops.

BRANDON:  So?  Wine?

JENNY:  Um, well, sure, just a little.

Brandon opens the wine and pours.

JENNY:  So which one do you want?  (She waves her hand over the different plates.

BRANDON:  You choose first.

Jenny pretends to reach for the steak, then moves her hand towards the fish, all the while keeping her eyes on Brandon’s reaction and then quickly snatches up the chicken.

BRANDON:  You get the one you want?

JENNY:  Yes, (smugly) thank you.  You?

BRANDON:  (Grabs Jenny’s plate, lets it  go and says)  Just kidding  (and grabs the steak.  He puts it down in front of him and raises his wine glass.)  A toast to turtle heroes and new friends.

They drink.

JENNY:  This is really good.  I haven’t eaten so well in the past few days.  MMM, but this, this makes up for it.  Thank you again, for everything.

BRANDON:  I’ve enjoyed myself today.

JENNY:  Really, you should stick around then because chaos seems to follow me around.  It’s mostly my fault, I tend to react first and think later.

BRANDON:  Well, some people would call you passionate.

JENNY:  My father calls it flighty.

BRANDON:  Well, it could be seen that way too, I suppose.  So what do you call it?

JENNY:  (pause)  Being me.

BRANDON:  Well I enjoyed being with you today Jenny.


JENNY:  Thank you.

BRANDON:  So, I heard you singing earlier.

Jenny brings the napkin to her face to hide behind it.

BRANDON:  You’re good!  Ever do anything with it?

JENNY:  No, I was told growing up that singers become drug addicts and are sexually promiscuous.  Did you know that?

BRANDON:  Hmm, My lucky day!

JENNY:  My dad, I don’t know, he let me know early on his disapproval. 

BRANDON:  Too bad.

JENNY:  I’m just always making up songs.  When I was young, I wanted to be a singer.

BRANDON:  So what do you do?

JENNY:  Mostly secretary work.  I’m between jobs right now.  I’m taking some time off to…

Brandon waits for Jenny to finish her sentence.

JENNY:  Well, I guess to think about what I want to do.  (She tears up)  I’m sorry, I just turned thirty and I’m not handling it so well.  (She wipes her eyes with her napkin.)  Rebecca just turned thirty, last month.  We were exactly one month apart.  (She smiles)  I’m old!

BRANDON:  Not as old as me.

JENNY:  Yeah but at least you know what you want to be when you grow up.

BRANDON:  If I knew what I wanted to be, I wouldn’t have to pretend to be other people.

JENNY:  Hmm, you make a point.  (She yawns) Excuse me.

BRANDON:  Well, it is getting late, I should be going.  You finished?

JENNY:  Oh, yes.

BRANDON:  My pleasure.  (He lingers a moment and heads out.)

Jenny looks at the closed door and sighs.  Her eyes shift to the bag.  She leaps up and over to it and dumps it out.  She reaches for the pajamas and smells them, then rubs them on her cheek and throws them on a chair.  She puts the pajamas and the bag in the bathroom.  She comes back out and looks at the list.  She puts it on the night table and heads back into the bathroom. 



It is dark in the room.  Jenny is awoken by a knock at the door.  She digs herself out of the covers, springs up and looks around.  She pauses a second and then gets out of the bed and heads to the door.

JENNY:  Hello?

BRANDON:  It’s me, Brandon!

JENNY:  Oh!  (She runs to the night table and grabs the list.)  Just a minute!  (She runs to the bathroom and when she comes out her hair is not as messy.  She runs over and opens the door.)

BRANDON:  (Holding keys and jingling them.) Look what I found.

JENNY:  Where were they?

BRANDON:  In a puddle.  I’m guessing they slipped out when you bent over to pick up the turtle.

JENNY:  (reaching for the keys)  Oh thank you, thank…

BRANDON:  (pulling the keys away)  Not until you’ve had breakfast.  Get dressed.

Jenny smiles and runs to the bathroom.


Jenny and Brandon are holding coffee cups.

JENNY:  So guess what happened?

They speak at the same time.

BRANDON:  You got fired.

JENNY:  I got fired.

BRANDON:  Hmm, yes, I am definitely beginning to see a pattern here.

JENNY:  Do you suppose I’m cursed?

BRANDON:  Bewitching perhaps but cursed, no.  (Brandon stares at Jenny like he might kiss her.)

JENNY:  Oh my gosh!

BRANDON:  Oh, Um, I didn’t…

Jenny runs past him and picks up the magazine.

JENNY:  No way!  (pause)  Not true!  (She flips through the magazine.  She holds it up to the magazine stand worker.)  There’s not an ounce of truth in this.  How can you sell this crap!

Brandon goes over to look at the magazine and laughs a little.

JENNY:  Why are you laughing?

BRANDON:  You have to have a sense of humor about this stuff. 

JENNY:  Why are you laughing?

BRANDON:  You have to have a sense of humor about this stuff.

JENNY:  What if my father reads this?  People are going to think I’m a slut!

Brandon takes the paper out of Jenny’s hand and hands it back to the magazine attendant.

JENNY:  I am cursed!

BRANDON:  Is it really that bad?  Last week they said they had pictures of my gay lover, this week, you.  next week, someone or something else.

JENNY:  So you come out looking experimental.  I come out looking like the slut of the week.

BRANDON:  It’s just a stupid magazine, anyone who would believe that stuff, well, what does it matter what they’d think.

JENNY:  I guess, I (pause) well, (pause) You know what?  You’re right!  People just always believe what they’re going to believe.  I’ve always tried so hard to do and say the right thing and what has that gotten me?  People are so judgey.  I mean, we know, there’s nothing going on between us. 

BRANDON:  Oh, right!  (He taps a bystander browsing the tattler.)  There’s nothing going on between us.

JENNY:  (Laughs and mouths the words, “He’s lying,” and winks at the bystander.)

BRANDON:  (Catching Jenny’s joke grabs her arm and tugs her away.)  We should see about the car.

Brandon dangles the car keys back in front of her.

Jenny grabs them and makes eye contact with the bystander again and mouths, “See,” and then shoves her tongue into her cheek and raises her eyebrows.

BRANDON:  Look at you, (Brandon announces to anyone listening.)  I’ve created a monster.





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